I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize