well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
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Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
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I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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