Your face is a jimmy john
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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