I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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