so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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