so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
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It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
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Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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