Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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