if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize