I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize