I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize