I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize