escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We named our party play list daddy issues
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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