Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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