i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize