Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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