Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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