Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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