my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
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This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
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I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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