i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize