this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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