Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
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I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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