HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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