Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
whose parrot is this?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize