we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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