I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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