I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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