I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize