there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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