I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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