and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
birth control should be required to get into college
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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