So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
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He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
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It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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