Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize