I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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