i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
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I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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