Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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