Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize