I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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