she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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