I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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