what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't deserve a penis
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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