You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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