i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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