dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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