what day is it and did you see me today?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize