I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm way too hungover for life right now
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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