Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
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Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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