On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Farmville is her only friend.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize