He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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