im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
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Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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