i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
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I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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